An Ordinary Life

Being that tomorrow is the last day of June and one of my goals was to post a blog twice a month, I figured I should get writing. I keep a journal of basic daily happenings and things that God has taught me. My journal includes Bible verses, things for which I'm grateful, funny things my grand kids say, certain appointments and the outcomes, home decor ideas, personal goals, ideas for Bible study, and even a grocery list or two. I try to write in my journal 3-4 times a week, even if it is just a sentence or two or to jot down a quick note or thought I don't want to forget.

Seems like the "don't forget" category  has been growing since April. Hmmmm........I wonder why? What big event could have happened? What has triggered my brain's ability to so easily forget plans or misplace items or cause me to walk around my house forgetting what I was doing? I once got up out of the recliner, took about four steps and totally forgot where in the house I wanted to go and for what purpose. I sat back down hoping it would trigger my memory. It didn't. So I finished sorting socks and watching Wheel of Fortune. Oh well. Could this phenomenon have anything to do with the fact that I turned 50 in April? 

Sorry for that rabbit trail (another possible side  effect of turning 50?). Now back to the reason why I'm writing today.

As I looked over my journal entries for the last few weeks a theme has emerged: ordinary. In the grand scheme of life and events on this planet (and others), my life would be considered by some as boring, unexciting, and bland. I've done nothing extraordinary that has anyone rushing to tell my life story. I've not created the hottest new business or invented the latest must-have gadget. I don't have famous friends or relatives. I don't live in the lap of luxury. 

I live a relatively simple life and I wouldn't change it for all the oolong tea in China. Why? Because this life is exactly where God has put me. This life is what He is using to teach me, draw me close to Himself, and mold me into the image of Christ. God is using the seemingly boring and uninteresting events of everyday life to show me some exciting and awesome truths about Who He is. Even my devotions this morning were, well, not so exciting to read. When you get a chance, go to your Bible and read 1 Chronicles 1-9. It's nine chapters of geneaologies. Exciting stuff, eh? Today I was in chapters 6-9. Yesterday, I sort of rushed through chapters 1-5 so I decided to slow down for these next few chapters and be purposeful in my reading. I'm so glad I did. Each genealogy list had something specific about it: they were mighty men of valor, or musicians, or priests, or gatekeepers. Some lists stood out because there were several women listed or because there was a fact about their land or who else lived in their land. But then there is the family of Naphtali. "The sons of Naphtali were Jahziel, Guni, Jezer, and Shallum, the sons of Bilhah" (1 Chron 7:13). That's it. Seriously. Nothing mentioned about where they lived, what they did, or who they really were. I was curious as to why nothing else was said about them. I knew that the tribe of Naphtali was mentioned in other places of Scripture so there had to be more about them. So for those who know me well, you know what I did. I studied it out. This wasn't easy as there is not much commentary written on 1 Chronicles 7:13. Some scholars believe that these names are the only preserved, recorded names of leaders of Naphtali and that the other written documents were lost or destroyed. Bummer. So I did a word search on Bilhah and Naphtali and here is what I learned. 

1 Chronicles 7:13 is identical to Genesis 46:24, with the exception of "the sons of Bilhah" added in 1 Chronicles 7:13. Bilhah is first mentioned in Genesis 29:29 when she was given to Rachel as a maid servant when Rachel married Jacob. When Rachel could not have children, Rachel gave Bilhah to Jacob to bear children for her. One of the sons born to Bilhah, but named by Rachel, was Naphtali (Genesis 30:1-8). Naphtali's sons were Jahziel, Guni, Jezer, and Shallum. Scripture does not name the mother(s) of Naphtali's sons. I found Bilhah's name one more time in Genesis 35:22 when Reuban, Jacob's oldest son is guilty of incest with her. Although not mentioned by name, Bilhah is referenced again in Genesis 32:22-23 & 33:1-2 when Jacob puts his maid servants and their kids in the front of the troop in the event of a conflict with his brother Esau. Nice guy.  

Naphtali has some interesting history and descendants and I encourage you to look it up. For the sake of time, I will hit just a few hightlights. Barak, the military leader in Judges was from the tribe of Naphtali. When the time came for David to assume the throne, the tribe of Naphtali provided 1,000 officers, 37,000 soldiers along with a caravan of food, to help. When King Solomon was building the temple, he hired Huram, from the tribe of Naphtali, to do the bronze work. All of Jesus' disciples, except Judas, were from Galilee, the land of Naphtali. Jesus' hometown was Nazareth of Galilee and that is where He started His ministry. 

So this is the story of 1 Chronicles 7:13. It's a good story. Oh it doesn't have all the intrigue, adventure, heroism, and honor (or dishonor) of the other tribes of Israel. For me, that is what makes the story of Bilhah and her descendants so fascinating. She was a simple servant girl, an ordinary woman and mother, nothing exciting or glamorous about her. In fact she probably had little control over the events in her life. Bilhah's story is often lost in the events and stories of Jacob's life. But not today. There she was, in 1 Chronicles 7:13, just waiting for me to find her. 

Bilhah's ordinary life has made an extraordinary impact on my ordinary life. Scripture is full of heroes. But right along side the names of Noah, Abraham, Joseph, David, Solomon, Peter, and Paul are the names of people like Bilhah, Jabez, Baruch, Mary and Joseph. Oh Mary and Joseph...talk about two ordinary people that God used in a mighty way. Really, now that I think about it, even when I look back at the names of heroes, they all started out as ordinary folk too. God's not looking for great people, He's looking to make people great by His power for His glory. It's so amazing to me how God can take a passage of Scripture, that so many have just skimmed over (me included before today) and use it to teach important lessons. Lessons of trust, obedience, courage, and humility. All things that I need to work on and now I have a very identifiable woman in the Bible that I can use as an example. 

I'm sure Bilhah never imagined that her name would be remembered centuries later, let alone recorded in God's Holy Word. You never know what can come from an ordinary life of serving God. I hope I am up to the challenge.

The Most Romantic Gift Ever

In just a few days, Jerry and I will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. Yay!! I'd like to say that I've been giving a lot of thought as to what to get Jerry as a gift. In all honesty, I've been thinking more about what I want him to get me. Like most women, I want the perfect anniversary gift. I want romance.

I don't need or want anything fancy. I don't need or want anything expensive or extravagant. I don't need or want some showy gesture or public display of affection. I don't need or want some well-orchestrated surprise. But I do want romance.

I can hear you all now, "Cheryl, you sure are making it hard for Jerry to be romantic by excluding all of the above things." No, I'm not. Really I'm not. What I am doing is changing my definition of romance and it all started with Mrs. Dorcas Smucker.

She is a wonderful Christian woman of Mennonite faith. She is a pastor's wife, mother of 6, author, and lives in Harrisburg, Oregon. A few weeks ago, Mrs. Smucker came to my church and spoke at our ladies tea. Her topic was about influence-those who influence us and those we influence. It was full of wisdom, scripture, and humor. I have no doubt that every woman at the tea walked away feeling blessed and influenced by her words. I know I did. But it had nothing to do with anything she said during her talk. Her influence on my life came about an hour later. Most everyone was gone, clean up was just about finished, and Mrs. Smucker packed up the books she had brought to sell. Janie and I were helping her take the book boxes out to her car when I noticed and made mention of the cool little cart she was using to tote the boxes around. Her husband gave it to her last year as a Christmas gift. And that's when it struck me. That cart-that little, plain, beige, utilitarian cart-was a romantic gift. Here's why: she loved it, used it, and appreciated having it. That cart met a specific need in her life. That cart was proof that her husband thought about her needs, which meant he was paying attention to what was going on in her life. He then took the thoughtful time and action to meet her need. With that cart-that little, plain, beige, utilitarian cart, Mr. Smucker was making a romantic gesture of love and thoughtfulness in a very real way.

Before you think that Mrs. Smucker and I had some deep, meaningful, hour long, heart-to-heart discussion about romance and marriage, let me give you the gist of our exchange:

Me: Wow, that's a cool little cart. What a great idea.
Mrs. Smucker: Thank you. My husband Paul gave it to me last year for Christmas. It's been such a blessing and huge help when I come to events like this tea.
Me: I want something like that. That is an awesome gift.

That's it, end of discussion. We hugged, expressed our mutual appreciation for a fun afternoon, and she left. Yet, here I am, a few weeks later pondering that small, seemingly insignificant but hugely influential conversation on my heart and life. It wasn't her words that spoke to my heart, it was her attitude. Mrs. Smucker's response to that cart-that little, plain, beige, utilitarian cart-was genuine. The joy in her eyes and the smile on her face spoke volumes about her appreciation regarding her husband's thoughtful gift-his gift of romance.

You know the old saying, "it's the thought that counts" and how it is used to justify the less than perfect gift by the less than grateful and often disappointed recipient. Been there, done that. But when it comes to romance, real biblical romance, it is the thought that counts. Real romance lies in the thought process, thinking about the one you love and living out that love in everyday ways.

In my conversation with Mrs. Smucker, the remark, "I want something like that"  was initially about the cart. I have learned since, when it comes to romance, I do have something like that. In Scripture, 1 Peter 3:7 says, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel," (ESV). In the KJV it says, "dwell with them according to knowledge." True understanding and knowledge of another person takes thought. It is a process of watching, listening, and caring about what is going on in their life. Scripture also gives to husbands the command of love and the principle that it is to be selfless and sacrificial, beneficial and honoring to the wife (Ephesian 5:25-33).

Jerry lives these principles and commands out every day. He knows me very well, sometimes better than I know myself (which can be annoying but that is for another time and blog). He pays attention to what's going on in my life, in my work, in my ministry. He was supportive beyond belief when I went back to school. He made sure I had a quiet place to study and a computer with the right software. When I graduated, Jerry was by my side, making sure every part of that trip was perfect, and it was. Not because it was a fancy or expensive trip. It was neither. In fact, we stayed in the college dorm rooms and ate meals in their cafeteria. What made that trip perfect was Jerry's genuine joy and pride in my accomplishment. I remember seeing him at one point during the ceremony running ahead of the procession of graduates so he could find the perfect spot to get a picture. A few minutes later I saw him on the first level of the stadium jumping up and down to get my attention. Another picture. He understood how important this was to me so it was just as important to him. His knowledge of me caused him to set aside his own needs to meet mine. That is 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5 in action; real thoughtfulness, real love, real romance.

I've only given one small example of the real romance Jerry has shown. But there are others: like the many times he made sure my car was filled with gas, or times when I found an extra $5 in my purse for coffee, or finding my skirt ironed on a late-running Sunday morning, or the too many to count times when I come home from FBI class and find popcorn waiting. As I look back over our 31 years together, I realize that Jerry got the whole romance thing right more often than I did. I am so blessed and so grateful. So what do I want for an anniversary gift this year? I want another 3+ decades of the real romance that Jerry has always given me. As far as that cart-that little, plain, beige, utilitarian cart-I'll take that too...or a trunk organizer. Either way, I've already got the the most romantic gift ever....a thoughtful husband!