When God and Horses Talk

Last Friday I went with the Mommy & Me group from church to RideAble. RideAble is a horse facility that works with primarily disabled persons. The horses are a great tool for teaching, physical therapy, and confidence building. It's a beautiful facility with wonderfully patient and qualified instructors. I am so glad I went. I almost didn't because I am no longer an official "mommy" and I had no little "me" to take along. What I do have is a fear of horses and a Nifty 50 list that included riding a horse (see #11). When I was a kid, my aunt raised horses. I have fallen off horses, I have been bucked off horses, and I have even been run over by a horse. I have seen my cousins and uncle get kicked and bitten by horses. Needless to say, horses have never been a favorite of mine. The last time I rode a horse I was in junior high. My friend Jill had a birthday party/sleepover that included horse back riding. Jill had grown up around horses, as did many of the other girls she invited. They were country girls; I was a city slicker. So we saddled up and off we went. I don't remember much after that. I think I have blocked most of it out. I do remember the horse running, (I'm sure it was going 100  mph at one point) and I was petrified. I became very aware of the power of that horse and my inability to stop it. How did I stop the horse? I don't remember. What else happened on the horse ride that day? I don't remember. Did I have fun at the rest of my friend's birthday party and sleepover? I honestly don't remember. But I will never forget the fear I felt on that horse at that time.

So going on this field trip was kind of a big deal for me. I wouldn't call my fear of horses a full-blown phobia but it did give me a serious case of butterflies and a racing heart. I watched the kids ride first. They were fearless and excited when their name was called to take their turn at riding. I watched the instructors and helpers give important, careful, and thorough instruction. I watched the horses. Patient. Gentle. Calm. Beautiful horses. When my turn finally came, yes, I was nervous, really nervous but I wasn't fearful. The instructor assured me that the horse, Miss Blue, was not high-energy at all. This was true. Unless the instructor was actually pulling on Miss Blue, we didn't move. The instructor repeatedly gave me instructions on what to do and then she walked away. There I was, in the middle of the horse arena, on a horse that wouldn't move. So different than my last horse riding experience. Every now and then Miss Blue would take one step and then stop. I would try to get her going but nothing worked. Finally, after what seemed like forever, we made it about half way around the arena and Miss Blue stopped again. There we stood. Little kids on their horses walked by, sometimes more than once. As I sat there, I was frustrated, embarrassed, and disappointed that, despite my best efforts, this horse would not move. Just then the instructor came up and said to me, "You are doing fine, relax." She showed me a different way to hold the reins and reminded me to kick hard. And then she walked away. Again. I took a deep breath, patted Miss Blue on the neck and said, Okay Miss Blue, we can do this." I moved the reins, kicked hard, and we walked. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. Miss Blue and I had a grand time walking around the arena. By ourselves. No instructor. It was awesome!

What made the difference this final time. I thought a lot about that on the way home. I came to the conclusion that it was my patience with the horse and determination to overcome my fear that made it possible. I was feeling quite happy in my horse-riding success and as soon as I got home I started to write this blog about the whole experience. I wrote about fear: what it is, why we have it, and how to overcome it. I wrote about patience, determination, and confidence. If I say so myself, it was a pretty good blog. I did one final proof read, feeling quite accomplished, when I heard the "Whisper"--you know, that still small voice in your heart that only comes from God, saying, "you aren't patient and determined, I am." Well wouldn't you know, God had a completely different lesson to teach me and a completely different blog for me to write.

As I contemplated my whisper from God, I reevaluated my time at the horse facility and what I thought I had learned and accomplished. My original blog post was scrapped and I have spent this last week searching out what real, patient, determined success looks like. You see, I thought I had success with the horse because of what I had done. I was patient. I was determined. I overcame my fear. I succeeded. By the world's standard today, this is true and something to be celebrated. The world's standard is a me-focused standard and that is not how I want to live my life. I don't want to celebrate me, but last Friday, that's exactly what I did. The pride I felt in "my" accomplishment quickly turned to shame as I realized that I had completely left God out. I didn't seek Him in prayer before I left for the facility. I didn't seek Him in prayer when I arrived. I never once thought about asking another Mom to pray with me or for me. I never once considered praying for the other moms, kids, or workers. My mind never once thought about Scripture and how I could rely on God's word for strength. I am embarrassed to admit that I crossed the line into full-blown pride as I allowed the focus to be on me and my fear. I am saddened by my actions, especially because I lost the opportunity to let God work and be seen in my life. I let Friday, and my success become all about me. I hope with this blog that I will rectify that and let God be seen as I share what He has taught me.

Success is not a bad thing. In Joshua 1:8 God says that we can have good success but we must be focused on Him. His word must be a priority and obedience to it must be a regular, consistent part of life. As a matter of fact, the phrase "good success" is only found in Joshua 1:8. and it is distinctly linked to God. Not self, not accomplishments, not anyone else. One of the definitions for good success is to wisely understand. I like that. When I wisely understand God and His word, when I wisely understand and follow His commands, that is good success. How cool is that?!! That is the kind of success I want. Success only becomes a bad thing when we take God out of the picture and that is why my so-called "success" with Miss Blue wasn't a success at all. Good success came when I took the time to listen and learn to what God, and Miss Blue were teaching me.

Yes, Miss Blue was teaching me patience and determination, but not mine; God's. She was reflecting God's patience with me. She was reflecting God's determination to get me going in the right direction. She was also reflecting my stubborn attitude. Yes, it's true, I can be stubborn; Jerry will back me up on this. (Oh boy, stubborn and pride, not a good combination.) Like Miss Blue, I can refuse to move. Often it takes some pretty hard kicking to get me going. Even then, I don't always go in the right direction or I only go a short way instead going the distance. Why do I do that? I know that God only has the best for me. His way is always the right way, always the right timing. I cannot even begin to put into words how grateful I am for a patient, loving, gentle God Who never gives up on me. Sometimes He just sits and waits and other times He kicks. Hard. I need those hard kicks to get me going sometimes. Those kicks also teach me that surrender and submission bring good success. Miss Blue eventually gave into my hard kick and did what she knew to do. And like I said earlier, "It was awesome!" Like Miss Blue, I need to surrender and submit. The sooner the better. Learning to walk God's way will bring good success and it's always an awesome ride.

I didn't know it on Friday but my real fear isn't horses. My real fear is not living the way God wants me to live. My fear is that I will get in the way and miss out on what God has for me and my life. I hope and pray this fear will keep me moving closer to God as I seek His will and way. It is my desire to "walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God" (Colossian 1:10). It's no coincidence that this passage of Scripture was part of my devotions and Bible study all week. I hope I will always be willing to listen, learn, and change my perspective when needed. Some may say that I'm making this a bigger deal than it really is. Perhaps. However, I am a firm believer that if I don't learn to listen to God in these small, seemingly inconsequential moments, I certainly won't know how to listen to Him when the really big things come around. And they will come around. And they will probably be bigger than a horse.

I do hope I can go horse back riding again sometime soon. When I do, I will be listening a whole lot better to what the horse, and God, have to say. Giddy Up!!

Kitty Wisdom

Cats. Not a big fan. Growing up, we had dogs: Penny, Precious, and Bogie. I don't remember much about Penny or even how long we had her. Our next dog was one of her puppies, Precious. She lived up to that name. She was hit by a car and had to have one of her back legs amputated. I remember thinking it was cool having a 3-legged dog. Many years passed between Precious' death and our next dog, Bogie, a mailman-terrorizing German Shepherd. Looking back, I'm surprised we ever got mail. I was indifferent to Bogie; didn't love him, didn't hate him. He was just a dog. My mom's feelings towards Bogie was different though. She certainly loved him and, for her, he was part of the family. I think she was way more patient with that dog than she was with me or my sisters. The countless times he escaped from the yard, neighbor's complaints, and even a citation or two, never phased my mom. Had me or my sisters behaved like that we would have been shipped off to juvenile hall. But I digress. Jerry and I attempted dog ownership a couple different times. I have some very funny stories about Bert and Ernie, two black lab/dalmatian mix dogs. Let's just say they were a handful and kept Jerry running around the neighbor hood on a regular basis, hopping fences and sweatpants around his ankles. We found a good home for them shortly after Bryson was born. We had a cat too. Her name was Sophie. She and I had a love/hate relationship but as far as cats can be, she was one loyal cat. She was with us for about 15 years which included 4 moves, 3 kids, 2 more dogs and 1 wild drive to Spokane.

Fifteen years with one cat, one would think I would be a cat person; but I am not, which is funny because we currently have 9 cats. Yes, I said 9. At one point about a two years ago, we had 14 cats. Oh my. It won't be long and we will be known as the crazy cat people on Lorane Hwy. At my house, cats are a necessity. We live in the country, and in 16 years we have only had one mouse in the house. Our cats are working cats; they are not pets. Only 5 of the cats have real names: Bruce, Mama, Lemur, Sunshine, and Mister (aka Stupid). These five cats are pretty good cats. They not only keep mice away from the house, they've also been known to take out a mole or two. Bruce is more like a dog sometimes and he follows us when we walk around the property. Jerry is the cat whisperer and has always been able to approach and hold any of our cats. But the last 4 cats are different. Two of them are grown and two are kittens. We call them mom cat, other cat, kitty one, and kitty two. I think we are tired of coming up with names. The kittens were born about 12 weeks ago and we have had little contact or interaction with them. The mom cat moved them off the porch after about two weeks. Jerry would find them and mom cat would move them. Jerry found them again and yep, you guessed it, mom cat moved them again. We had an idea of where they were but we never approached. Partly because mom cat and other cat were fiercely protective. When those kittens were on the porch, I couldn't walk by without mom cat and other cat jumping up and hissing. They even spit at Jerry. The kittens are now old enough that they can't be hidden. They are out and about on their own mostly and I do see them from time to time.

A few days ago they were back on the porch, eating some food Jerry had set out. I walked out to get in my car to go to work and those kittens literally ran for their lives. The calico kitten ran down the stairs, around the corner, and disappeared. The black and white kitten dove under the stair rail, flew over the rock garden, turned left and also disappeared. I giggled. I even said out loud, "Oh kitties, no need to run, I won't hurt you. Silly kittens." As I drove to work, I couldn't help but think that maybe I should be more like those "silly" kittens. Maybe those "silly" kittens had a lesson (or three) to teach me.

Lesson 1: Recognize danger. 
Those "silly" kittens saw me as a threat. To them, I represented danger and someone who could do them harm. Sometimes I think that people (me included) don't always recognize the dangers in this world. Yes, we teach our kids about stranger danger. We wear seat belts in the car and helmets on our bikes. We lock our doors and windows at home and keep poisonous items out of reach. But that's not the kind of danger I am talking about. I'm speaking of the danger that can bring devastation to heart, mind, and spirit. One story, one person in Scripture in particular comes to mind. Eve.

One day in God's beautiful garden, danger came and unfortunately, Eve didn't recognize it. I will give Eve the benefit of the doubt here because this danger was not obvious at first. Remember, the serpent that approached her did not frighten her by its appearance or by the fact that it spoke. I find that fascinating. If it were me, I would run from a serpent, let alone a talking one. So I imagine that it was a beautiful creature and maybe, just maybe, it's possible that animals some how communicated with Adam & Eve in God's perfect garden. Either way, the serpent did not come with a neon sign that flashed DANGER! However, the moment that serpent opened it's mouth and spoke, Eve should have recognized the danger. Why? Because the first 4 words spoken by the serpent were, "Did God actually say...?" (Genesis 3: 1 ESV). The serpent was questioning the truth of God's word. Instead of saying, "Um yeah, that's exactly what God said!" and walking away, Eve chose to reason with and listen to the lies of the serpent. We know the rest of the story. In a conversation of approximately 80 words, sin entered the world and danger was everywhere.

We have got to recognize the danger that comes when people want us to doubt the truth of God, His word and Who He is. All of God's word is true, from beginning to end. I remember seeing a bumper sticker many years ago that said, "God said it, I believe it, that settles it."  It really should read like this, "God said it, that settles it!" Period. My believing doesn't affect the truth of what God says. You don't have to believe God's word but it is still true and truth. Believing and obeying God's true word is the greatest tool we have when it comes to recognizing danger in all it's forms. I can't stress enough the importance of spending good, quality time in the Bible everyday. Read it. Study it. Examine it. Apply it. There are so many Eve's today, who take the time to get more acquainted with the danger of doubting God's word rather than knowing the truth of God's word.

(Commercial Break: If you want to learn the Bible better, I encourage you to enroll in Faith Bible Institute (FBI). It is a 3-year course that goes through the entire Bible. It is, by far, one of the best things I have done in growing my knowledge of and intimacy with God. In Eugene, classes are at Westside Baptist but this course is taught worldwide and you should be able to find it in an area near you. Visit www.faithbibleinstitute.com for more information.) Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Lesson 2: Flee danger
Those "silly" kittens did what was exactly necessary to protect themselves-they ran and they ran fast. Again, another story from Genesis comes to mind. This time it is in chapter 39. Joseph is working in Potipher's house. Joseph had reached the high position of overseer and was basically second in command. But Mrs. Potipher had eyes for Joseph and was constantly trying to seduce him. One day, when all alone, Mrs. P cornered Joseph and used all her womanly wiles on him. What did Joseph do? Instead of giving in to the momentary pleasure, he saw the danger and he fled. Fast. There was no hanging around and weighing the pros and cons of the situation or listening to the convincing and attractive arguments put forth by Mrs P. He understood the danger that this would be "great wickedness and sin against God" (Gen 39:9). Yes, there were consequences to Joseph's choice. Mrs. Potipher lied and Joseph ended up in prison. I think that if Joseph had given in to her, he still would have ended up in prison. I also believe it would have changed his relationship with God and the way that God would use him. Why do I think that? Just look around at Christians who didn't flee when they had the chance. Sadly, the church is rife with examples of people who have lost their families, ministries, and even their lives because they knew the danger but chose to flirt with it instead of flee from it. I'm not just talking about sexual immorality either. Danger comes in many forms. I could write several blogs on what they are, how they manifest, and how they destroy. I speak from experience but let me say that any entanglement that draws you away from God is a danger that you need to recognize and then flee. Fast.

Here are some verses that I encourage you to look up: 1 Timothy 6:3-12 & 17-21; 2 Timothy 22-26; James 4:1-7. There is great insight as to what we are to flee, why we are to flee, and the results. I could go through each passage but then I would be robbing you of the joy and privilege of reading God's word (See lesson 1).

Lesson 3: Find safety
When those "silly" kittens ran for their lives from the danger in front of them (me), they didn't just run from my reach; they ran for a safe place of protection. Into the garage/shed they went through a small hole in the corner siding. There the kittens could wait until the danger (me again) had gone. For people, there is no better place of protection than in the arms of God. Run to Him for safety, help, comfort, and strength. Over and over in Scripture God is said to be our shield, refuge, strong tower, and a very present help in time of trouble. He is always ready, willing and able to protect us from the dangers of the world. That's what a good father does for his children and there is no better Father than God Himself. He doesn't leave His children alone to face the danger. There is also safety with God's people. It is so important to find other believers who know God's word and who can give wise, biblical advice and counsel. I have a several close friends who love the Lord and I know that when I need advice, they will give it to me straight from God's word. I so appreciate that act of love and protection, even though it isn't always easy to hear truth when I'd rather hear something that justifies my own selfishness or pride, two very real dangers.

Recognize danger, flee danger, and find safety. Who knew those "silly" kittens were so wise? So will I turn into a cat person now? Nah, that's not gonna happen any time soon, but I am grateful for the valuable lesson and reminder those kittens have taught me. Maybe they are not so silly after all.